


Thorns

by michmak



Series: The Wizard of Odd, and other stories [10]
Category: Firefly
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-23
Updated: 2012-08-23
Packaged: 2017-11-12 17:42:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/493951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/michmak/pseuds/michmak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He wants to save the world, but he can't even save himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thorns

Title: Thorns  
Prompt: 010– Anger (list 2)  
Word Count: 400  
Progress: 10/100

 

"I don't appreciate you trying to tell me what to do on my own gorram ship!" Mal's voice is raised and it doesn't take a genius to figure out who he's yelling at.

"Someone needs to tell you what to do," Inara responds. "You've become completely erratic lately. Why are you so angry all the time?"

"Because people keep trying to tell me what to do on My. Own. Gorram. Ship!" he bites back. "My boat; my rules."

"We're back to that again, are we?" From where she's hiding in the shadows of the stairwell, River can practically feel the disdain dripping from the Companion. "I should have known it wouldn't last."

"What?"

"You, acting like a human being for once. Next you'll be telling me that you don't care if I go back to the training house."

Mal pauses, before he states quietly, "I don't care. You do what you want. Your life; you live it. I ain't got no hold on you."

The silence is almost painful.

"Mal…" Inara begins, softly.

"Inara…" he replies.

River doesn't have to see them to know they're standing within inches of each other and the Captain's hands are sitting loosely on Inara's shoulders, thumbs tracing idle circles against the red silk of her dress. She is looking at him from under her lashes; playing the coquette without even realizing she's doing it. She wants Mal to kiss her and he thinks he should want that too because wanting Inara makes more sense to him than wanting an Albatross.

Inara deserves more and so does he. She shouldn't be the cross he carries because she's not the one that can save him – only River can do that. She can save him like he saved her and together they can become whole. But it will never happen unless he wants salvation and right now it's obvious to her he doesn't. He wears his guilt like a crown of thorns and tries to make Inara fit where she can't.

River knows she shouldn't be angry with him. She can feel his confusion and his self-hatred; knows he wrests with her in his dreams every night and flagellates himself with remorse every day because of it. He wants to save the world but he can't even save himself.

He's so noble and broken he makes everyone around him bleed and doesn't even realize he's doing it.


End file.
